Remember how closely depression and anger are linked. Most negative emotions are a form of sadness or anger. And whichever appears on the surface, the opposite is usually lying underneath. Your anger is there to protect you and to let you know when you’re being taken advantage of. Once you know how to express it in a clear, healthy and assertive way, no-one can guilt or pressure you into keeping it to yourself. And people who try to pressure you into keeping your anger to yourself will never apply the same rule to themselves so don’t take them seriously when they try.
It is important to release anger in some way. The worst thing you can do is allow it to build up. If you’re feeling anger at this moment, ask yourself if there’s something you can do right now to improve the situation. And go and do it. If you need to speak to someone who you feel anger towards, do it as soon as you’ve cooled off enough to speak rationally. Be honest with the person and remember to focus on how their behavior made you feel, rather than throw accusations.
If you have never done this before, people might be a little taken aback by your new way of being. Don’t let that put you off. No-one will ever thank you for devaluing yourself. If the person is generally decent, they will usually take what you say into account. If the person is manipulative then they probably will flare up at you. As long as you’ve remained respectful, you haven’t done anything wrong. Their response will tell you more about themthan about yourself.
If the anger is something you can’t do anything about, there are other ways to release it. Screaming into a pillow is an old classic. Crying is also good although for some reason, I’ve always found that crying with laughter works better for me. I feel very refreshed and energized after it. Another method is to journal about it and get it all down on paper. A great method, which again I thank Maxwell Maltz for, is to visualize steam coming out of the top of your head like a geyser, and imagine that’s your anger. This ties in with the expression we have for “blowing off steam”. Try it and notice how effective it is.
Also, go running. Or do exercise where you get to smash, hit, kick or punch something. Really let rip. Remember, it’s better out than in and you don’t want any more of that depression and anger turned back in on you.